Pupdate: about...cats

About… cats

By Humanomics Editor, Fox

There are many human behaviours that I have come to understand or even appreciate. But I will never understand human behaviour towards cats.

It’s not just that they accept these furry menaces roaming unbidden in their gardens, on their roofs and down their streets. They also welcome them in as pets.

These sneaky, cunning creatures, who are unashamedly wild, are doted on as though they are cute fluffballs.

Let’s look at the evidence. 

Cats do not offer affection very often, if ever; they move around with an air of importance and haughtiness that should get any even-tempered person annoyed; they trespass on people’s property (which I believe is a crime in human law); they play with their food; and they screech and whine. 

Any of this behaviour from a dog would send their human straight to the dog behaviourist, trainer, or worse, the rehoming centre.

Yet this same behaviour from a cat is not only accepted, but praised! According to humans, cats are cute, sweet, and good for human health! Are we talking about the same creatures? 

These wild things bring back half-alive animals to their house to play with them and eat them. They are stone cold predators.

Thankfully, there are no cats in our house, but we have plenty that wander into my garden as if they own it.

My arch-nemesis sits on the roof of our house, taunting me. It knows I can’t reach it, so it looks proudly down at me, smirking. “Come and get me,” that smirk says. “I’m right here.”

I’ll admit it makes my blood boil. I use my ferocious bark and jump about crossly until my human comes.

And do they chase the tyrant away? Do they wave their arms and shout? 

Oh no.

They tell me to calm down. They tell me I am safe.

I am at a loss. No cat is safe. Any animal that can catch and eat a pigeon is not to be trusted.

My humans may not see the danger, but I will keep alerting them to it, until they listen. It is all I can do.

I hope your humans are more sensible.

Stay Alpha,

Fox

“Beware of cats sitting on roofs” – Grrergil