Pupdate: about...the taste station

About the taste station

by human affairs correspondent, Snow

Now I am a grown up pup (I had my 1st birthday recently), I should “impart some wisdom” to you (or, at least, that’s what Fox told me).

I am an expert at eating. So, today I will give you my top tips on taste station etiquette.

(Not all humans have a taste station. If yours don’t, make sure you try this when you visit a house that does!)

The taste station is a machine that licks all the dirty dishes clean. Humans open its mouth wide and fill it with dirty dishes. When they close the mouth, the taste station makes lots of whooshing noises (as though it is thoroughly enjoying its dinner).

If you can get close while it is being filled, a wonderful array of taste sensations await. The taste station has it all, from gravy and meat juices to yoghurt and cream. And no matter how much humans ‘clear’ their plates, there is always plenty left for a dog to enjoy.

Here are my tips for making the most of the taste station:

1. Bide your time

My people are most protective of the taste station when it is being fed, that is, when the dishes are going in. They often seem to be in a hurry as though the machine gets grumpy when it is hungry (I can understand that).

So, the time to get in position is when the machine is being emptied and the dishes are clean. 

This is the moment you can get close to the taste station without raising suspicion. Your people are not worried that you will try to eat the dishes when they are clean (they are yucky!), so they forget that you are there.  (Fox says this is called “desensitisation”). 

If your people are like mine (disorganised, Fox says), they usually have dirty dishes to feed the empty taste station as soon as they have unloaded it. So now you are in the perfect position to enjoy them! Clever huh?

2. It’s all about the cutlery

If you are a dog who likes lots of flavours, the cutlery basket is where you want to head. 

You have to be quick when the taste station is open and being filled. Heading for the cutlery is a great way to experience all the tastes on offer before your person bats you away.

Check that the cutlery is facing up though: if your person places the cutlery upside down, you will be in for disappointment.

3. Work quietly, and sneakily

Any sudden clatter is likely to remind your people that you are there and they will bat you away. But, if you are quiet, you might even be able to sneak off with a piece of cutlery and savour it somewhere hidden. I have become quite good at it, but it has taken time. If my people hear so much as a tinkle of metal against tile, it is game over.

Good luck!

Wags and woofs,

Snow

“The patient pup, snaffles the dinner” – Pawverb